James Harden, who is a beacon of light, a radiant personality and a dynamic ballhandler joins the Philadelphia 76ers.
I don’t write about sports all that often. Boxing. Yes. If billiards and/or fencing were a thing in Philly. Yes. Mascot stories on Gritty and the Phanatic or anything to do with competitive eating. That’s not sports.
Let me cut to the chase here: the Philadelphia 76ers, long and legendarily the home of Dr. J, Wilt the Stilt, the Mighty Moses, Sir Charles, The Answer and now, The Process (Joel Embiid) got caught up in The Problem: Ben Simmons.
I’m not a psychologist, I don’t play one on television, and I won’t bother analyzing why Simmons came here, hated being here, and refused to play up to his supposed abilities. For this, he remained coddled and handsomely paid – willingly and knowingly on his side and the team’s front office and coaching staff. That’s right, I’m not blaming, Doc or Embiid. Everyone, even Meek Mill’s friend Michael Ruben had a hand in enabling Ben Simmons to be nothing ever at all.
To the rescue, however, and literally in the last seconds of draft play, came another, better, bolder answer: The Beard, James Harden, who as of last night officially became a Sixer when completing a deal for him to leave the Nets (along with Paul Millsap) and send Ben Simmons, Seth Curry, Andre Drummond, an unprotected 2022 first-round pick, and a 2027 first-round pick packing to Brooklyn.
There’s a few million dollars cash in play if one-first round pick becomes a second-round draft pick and cooler heads do not prevail. But the main thing is that Simmons is now Brooklyn’s problem, and I will put some of my own money in the pot to keep him at least those 300 miles away from Philly’s city limits.
As for what Philly’s going to get – beyond a real shot at a division victory – James Harden is a beacon of light, a radiant personality and a dynamic ballhandler who will get along with Embiid. The Beard has long been one of the NBA’s highest scorers, the best shooting guard in the NBA, and an all-around top player whose recent numbers include 22.5 points/8.0 rebounds/10.2 assists average on 41.4/33.3/86.9 shooting splits.
Maybe The Beard had some hamstring problems last season, maybe he’s older, fuck that. In the 76ers, he’ll have Embiid, a great young team at the height of their power, and without the hangdog problems of a Simmons to weigh them down
It’s nothing but net with The Beard in 2022.
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